Enough with the fake comebacks, my heart has been heavy with so many things , so I am choosing to be open and vulnerable with this post, whether it is ready by one or many.
I hit rock bottom. Sounds cliche , I know. But real.ly...I hit rock bottom with myself. I have " hit " this bottom before; or so I thought but that appears to have just been the sub floor.
I had many moments of tears and depression and anxiety because of my weight. I often found excuses or reasons to justify why I was this way and that it's okay. In actuality it's not.
Ive tried the fad diets, weight watchers and none of it stuck. Why?? I am not exactly sure but I assume I will figure it out along this journey. I have read so many inspirational books & blogs that would get me motivated but none of it stuck with me.
My rock bottom my real rock bottom was in september . We were out with friends and I thought I looked good. I even went with the "slimming black" skinny Jeans, black blouse and black pumps, hair slicked up. It was a fabulous dinner even felt good enough to take some selflies with a friend.
My husband told me I looked beautiful which is fabulous confirmation.
It wasn't until we went for drinks following dinner that I hit rock bottom. Go , figure, rock bottom in a bar. Before you go pointing fingers, it wasn't that kind of "BAR."
A friend, a very slim friend friend & I stood there kind of swaying and bouncing with the beat of the music from a half decent dj, when her fiancé came up and just touched her on her waist held her and I could actually see the attraction he had to his significant other. I could literally serve the attraction on a plate as it was that palatable. I stood there and continued to sway dance while my husband sat a bit distant.
Him sitting doesn't completely shock me. While everyone says he looks like Mr. Robin thicke , he does not move like robin thinke. But he wasn't even looking or acknowledging me, which I found odd.
My husband always affirms me and reminds me of my beauty . But is that beauty enough? I mean is it for you?
